max factor fantasy fire

max factor fantasy fire
Max Factor Fantasy Fire

I'm in love. Look at that classy fuckin mirror I got out to fully showcase the beauty of this polish! Here it's one coat over No. 7 Foxglove, and I think it is just awesome. I literally stood on a chair in my living room to get my hands right under the light to fully capture the Beauty that is this polish. In some lights it's completely green, in some orange/gold, in some red. Just awesome. Staring at my fingernails like a lunatic. Writing this post at 1:53am because I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get back from a stag do having man fun. Staying in painting my nails and watching Lars and the Real Girl for woman fun. Eating the rest of a bag of candy corn. Nail polish.

everyone is removing glitter polish wrong.

So, I can't do fake nails. I lasted with those for about 24 hours then I just couldn't stop myself. It felt too weird! I was also on a crazy edge all day yesterday so...they're gone now. Then while trying to occupy my time while watching election results I needed something to do and Batman Begins and more nail polish seemed like a reasonable answer? Which also lets me complain about/elucidate about one of my pet peeves/loves! I seriously see people nonstop 24/7 on every makeup blog talking about how hard it is to take off glitter polish. Like, even good blogs complain about this?! And share strategies to use cotton buds or soaking or sponges to get it off. Why tho. That's wrong and harder than it needs to be.

figure 1: the scene of the crime

Pictured: Daisy Darling by No. 7. I guess it's Gatsby inspired? Who cares. You're supposed to use it as a top coat (clear base) but I liked the way it looked, so this is maybe five coats on each finger. You could do less if you didn't want as dense of a glitter situation. It also used about half the bottle and I could only wear it for ONE DAY so no I will not be doing this again. I'm actually pretty annoyed at myself right now that I did this then just picked it off but that's not the path we gonna go down tonight. *shovels leftover halloween candy in my face* Five coats is a pretty thick hunk of junk. I just googled 'glitter polish chip' and it got over three million results so clearly other people have an issue with chipping but idt it's on my level because I seriously looked down at my hands tonight and saw that one finger was completely polishless. It had just fallen off, probably in my food? Ugh glitter polish I love you but you treat me bad. Anyway one finger was mest up, and since I like picking off polish more than I like wearing it I got down to freaking business.

Step 1: Pick at the edges of the polish. Wedge your fingernail up under where this big piece of glitter is starting to separate from your nails.
Step 2: Slowly continue wedging, make the gap bigger, watch it separate really cleanly and easily from your nail if you're doing this right.
Step 3:

DUH

What up?! About ten times easier than trying to soak it all off, omg can you imagine trying to get acetone to soak through five layers of glitter polish?! Nooo thanks I'll do it my way. And if you do it right it isn't a mess or anything, it's all one piece with your nail pretty much completely clean with no glitter left behind. And then you can do weird shit with the things shaped exactly like your nails! Leave them next to people you care about. N.B. this only works for glitter polishes, it doesn't work for foil polishes. Foil polishes are the hardest to get off for me because lol this isn't just my method for glitter polish, this is the only way I take off nail polish. So satisfying to get your nail polish off in one piece. GOD. Maybe I don't even like glitter polish, I just have a weird fetish for picking it off. Mmm.

robot nails

tore up cut'z

Check out these crazy freakeing nails I got today. The entire story of my life is buying metallic nail polishes and then being hella sad when they're streaky and kind of look like metal?? But not nice metal??? So while I'm not usually one for fake nails (like girl don't even get me started on fake nails actually.) these are those super temporary low-qual ones so it shouldn't last more than a few days sooo when I take them off it shouldn't be a disgusting soft flaky pastry of a nail bed situation down there. Do you know what I'm talking about? Is that just me? When I was younger (WHOOPS I GOT STARTED ON FAKE NAILS) I got acrylic nails like from an actual salon, where they smush the little cloudy gel blob (whatever, do I look what I know what I'm talking about) into your nails and they were awesome for a while, then one fell off so I had to take all of them off and my nails were a DISASTER. Like they file yr junk down first to apply them, I guess? Then they get all soft and weak under that plastic? Ugh shudders thinking about it, moving on.

These nails are hot shit and perfect for looking like a sexy-ass robot bitch who needs to make sure nails stay safe cause this nail glue ain't the best!! Holla!! Also note: my messed up cuticles. Anyway the nails I used are these, I got them in Boots while ~*~*Chriiiistmas Shopping!!*~*~! And I never play the fake nails game and it was easy enough for me to figure out application and then filing them to a reasonable length etc etc. Plus if they get smudgey u can just wipe em off like a mirror. Get on it.

lipstick for boring old people (me)

On point.

So, today I rediscovered this Une Lip-toned Colour lipstick I have. I wore it basically nonstop in my first year at university (once I figured that makeup shit out) and I'm pretty pleased with that because overall, for real, I was a little asshole makeup wise. I had no idea what I was doing. I'm not gonna show you a picture, because it was for real embarrassing. Think heavy eye ~and~ heavy brow, and I have a damn baby face so it was awful.

But. BUT. This lipstick was on point. This guy is everything I love in a lipstick: it's matte, it goes on smooth, it hides the like, canyon sized cracks in my lips, it's in one of those tiny skinny tubes that I loooove for some reason, and it's totally lip-toned. Not toned like my lips, because I have thin lips that go basically invisible when I'm cold (all the time). Pretty sure if I did a real nude lip people would be asking me if I was sick all the time, all 'your face is so colourless, you alright?' And then I'd hiss and try to crawl into their jacket for warmth. This stuff is like, it's what your lips would look like if they were nice. It's someone else's lip colour. It's like, hot-Emily lip colour. So I was wearing this today and felt pretty happy with it! And was like, maybe I will go for a lip-toned lip, maybe that's how I'll do winter? But then I went into Boots and bought a hot pink-coral lipstick called GAY GERANIUM by No. 7 and it's basically neon because cold weather can't tell me nothing.